nessa's secrets.

[Nessa] Face Lights up! Pale, a contrast of delicate pinks and pale skin and dark hair and blue eyes-- when happy, if there were anyone who knew of the past challenges for her-- yeah. There was a reason, and maybe its not gone yet. She coudl bathe Lukas in warmth for his words, just utterly --BUT
He doesn't stop there does he? No, he continues on.
Oh fuck.
"Ah."
Abruptly, the old, shuttered, still kinfolk returns, as movement ceases. The cup in her hand radiates more heat away into the air, and much of the flavor.
Her animation turns inwards.

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] It's a change too marked to miss.

"Why does that notion bother you?" he asks, simply.

[Nessa] Just as simply, Nessa regards his face straight on, looks right into his rage and what it might do to her. "Last time I was at caern, was because I.. well was because I was pregnant. Little bit of trouble there, da? My reputation is perhaps not... great."
The bare white of her throat tenses, shows the tendons in starkness, and the beat of her pulse at her throat, more rapid. "I worry they will blow me off for my past sins. I can do this though. And no one else has, that I have ever heard, tried, here in Chicago. Kin stopped having meetings long long ago. We are just... out here. Domestic or alone. If I understand this prophecy thing, is no more time for that. Is no more time for bullshit and egos and... waste."

She takes a long breath, and lets it out. The answer will probably be no. No one gets fatalistic like a Russian Shadowlord Kin. Hopefully, she hides it well. "Thank you for listening, Lukas."

Her tribesmate, right across from her. He isnt doing horrible things, either. Actually, all in all, the man seems... pretty decent. As she rises, fluid and graceful and everything frumpgirl wasn't, Nessa murmurs again. Quietly.
"Too bad about towel."

[Zeke] The Kitchen, at this time of night, is a bustle of fewer patronage and employee. Few felt the need to venture into the knee deep world of the NPC kinfolk and their timetable scheduling that often prompted stern looks and disapproving glances behind backs when folks went asking or searching for food. Most of the time, things had been relegated to expected 'Late Night Fridge Raids' (The Fridge was close to the back alley entrance afterall; for those Garou who think on the go) where Tuperware containers of leftovers from the previous days 'masterpieces' ('NO DISH DIPPING ALLOWED') could be rifled through and expected to be emptied within a forty eight hour period.

Most of the time, you could find someone to cook but more often then not, you could find the snack that was just right for the occasion, already prepped and ready. Part of being Kin, was being prepared for the worst and the most irritating. Little fuss. No muss. No cussing at two in the morning when the Rage(y) Ahroun is hungry.

The stairwell leading into the Kitchen is lit up by the murmuring conversations of a stern woman named Margaret. Five three, wicked with a spoon and often times, poignant and eloquent with her gestures and hands, nary much of a word spoken to anyone, especially when her nose in the next dish.

"...I'm sorry I'm not sure who you are..." She says.

The reply is slow. Methodically spoken. As if each word were measured for it's value and chosen above a half dozen others.

"Just wondering really. Seen and been 'round a bit here or there and heard this place was packing rooftops with-"

"-Are you interested in something particular-"

"-True folk, born and raised. Funny-"

"-I believe you want the upstairs areas, Sir-"

"-Don't get much more cozy then this."

Overlapping conversation. The male voice didn't care that she was talking while Margaret seemed to be doing her best to usher in professionalism and usher out conversation.

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] "Nessa, stop."

He speaks gently, this Shadow Lord Ahroun with the remarkably even keel. He even treats her with something close to respect. He does not seem to acknowledge her fertility, or what grace and beauty and breeding she has; but he does acknowledge her usefulness. Which, to a Shadow Lord, is perhaps far more important.

Still: that was a command. And he waits until she has stopped, and turned, and faced him fully.

He studies her face, keenly. Then he sits up, sets his mug on the coffee table.

"Is there a justified reason that the Sept may shun you? Because if there is, you must tell me now. I don't want to hear it from someone else."

[Nessa] Nessa swallows. Then puts the cooling coffee in her otherwise cottony mouth, tries again.
She's... been here before. A few times. Her head pulls back just the least little bit, tilts slightly as she studies the ahroun for signs of threat.
"Is...difference on opinion over 'justified'." He's gonna find out why her voice sounds a little thready soon. "I.. ahh.. Is.. like this..."
Pretty imminently soon, because she's moving closer, leaning forward until he has to feel the warmth from her body through her silk blouse, smell her scent, spicy and exotic and a little sweet.
She has something to whisper to him. Whatever it is, her body braces for impact, but maybe that's just his nearness. He is ahroun.

[Zeke] "-Makes you wonder how it's still standing, all that Heat coming down from above." Murmuring combined with the creak of stairs under the weight of an ascending body.

"-Yes, that's it. Go on up. They can take care of you."

"Heh..." It was amusement plain and capable of being written "...Like lollipops keep kids happy, huh?"

"Huh?" More stair creaking.

"Yea'. Let's hope."

He emerges on the top of the stairwell, eyes in every corner and crevice of the upstairs venue. It wasn't so much a study as it was an inspection. Were there claw marks on the walls and furniture? Did the ground have impact dents and splintered sections? Were there punching bags with multiple lacerations, medically treated with duct tape? Could one see the bottle waves of heat bleeding off the walls or the corona of territorial space being tested each second?

"Tastes like a Frat House, Smells like the Ozone on a bad day." Murmurs. Always murmurs, like conversation with the self were a more important pass-time then socializing. "Piece of paradise or slice of hell..."

He sniffs back some of the cold dripping out of his nose, long black jacket with the salt stained cuffs on nice black slacks and the look of a business man of the night. Shaved head, spoken with eloquence despite the ghetto creeping accent. Knuckles crack inside gloves, fingers raised to brush down walls and rub what comes off between thumb and index.

He spies the edge of that collection of reclining sofas, ten yards or more off and steps out from under the shadow of the stairwell wall, leaning against the corner, hands shoved into pockets, gaze regarding Lukas and Nessa...or more accurately, glancing over Lukas and settling on Nessa.

"Intimate moments, I see." Loud enough to bark or maybe wake a light sleeper.

[Nessa] Her hand reaches out to steady her, perfect balance or no, grabs a handfull of fabric of the couch. Nessa whispers as quietly as she can, and still have him hear her.
Confessions are a BITCH.

[Nessa] Can you get this??
to Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Zeke] ((Ahhhhhh crap! Uhhh, folks ignore my posts please. I've got a dog on the loose outside that I need to catch fast before she goes wakin' up the neighbourhood! Zeke didn't arrive! Sorry! Crap! *Runs*))

[Nessa] Nessa
Mon 12:17 am

to Lukas Wyrmbreaker
Nessa
Mon 12:10 am

to Lukas Wyrmbreaker
"Do you want all details? This was ahh while I was around... 6 weeks pregnant with Luc. It has been some time. No one has mentioned it since, except Kemp, but then not for over one year now."
Oh gaia say no. There is no part of what imminent anger could erupt that she is not acutely aware of.
to Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] The truth is, whatever Nessa's body language, Lukas' is quite clear. The Shadow Lord sits at repose, his hands on his thighs, relaxed; his head bent slightly; listening.

When she finishes there's a faint frown. He raises his head, looks her in the eye if she can meet it.

"Nessa. Just spit it out. Tell me whatever you think you need to tell me so that I will understand. And please, don't try to sugar-coat it. Whatever you may have done, you are still my kin -- remember that, and have the courage to tell the truth."

The whole truth, nothing but the truth. All that.

[Nessa] "You know of my mate's death. Did you also hear that one of our tribe came to me and wanted my help in destroying the pack of Eagles? Every one of them, for his death?
I culd have helped. They had offered me protection as well as many other packs had after Bakuu's death. Decker woudl have beleived me and I cuold have led them to their death, one at time, or more. I had respect in sept, and many had good will towards me, and I had good reputation. He also wanted to destroy Kemp, who was not there when Baaku was killed by Eagle's packmate."
Her stomach does not turn this time. But her jaw is clenched, and she might tear the couch's upholstory.
"I.. removed memory of Kemp saying one thing, that misunderstood, which led him to decide to include Kemp in all this killing.
He figured it out-- that I had made different memory instead, less harmful.

Anyways, when all of it came out, ahh.. all there were ahh.. angry."
to Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Nessa] Ok that sets off yet another bout of furious and ahh painful whispering.

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] "How exactly could you have helped him in this vendetta?" Lukas does not quite lower himself to whisper, but he does speak quietly. "And what do you mean, 'removed memory'?"

[Nessa] "I was to help find their weaknesses. But I already knew many of them. The rest would be simple to find. I coudl have simply requested members of that pack, Eagles, to come to any spot of the our theurge's choosing, to trap. I could have brought out any secrets into light, and shamed them. I could have ... forced them ito vulnerable positions in battle-- i had done so to one Decker was fighting, once, to expose its throat to Decker. It's not that hard. I could have implanted thoughts, memories, in any of their minds, possibly, and acting on them would have been... deliterious, da? I am good, at manipulation. What was asked, I coud have done fo rhim.
Is just that.. I WOULD not. "
She is staring at his ear now. Pretty hard actually.
"I was made this way, made to be what I am, by high ranked theurges from our tribe, in Russia. And I was meant to be used against garou, I think. The shadowlords there, when I as judged in the sept, the fenrir who took offense that i dared! protect them-- ultimately-- They think I am bad for acting as I did. And I think whomever is asking me to hurt other garou, gaians, is bad. I won't do those things, Lukas. Is better ways to have solved what I was told to do. And that is different discussion entirely.
I just.. won't ... Is not right, for us to hurt each other like that. Nothing he could have done would bring Baaku back. And what he wanted would have shamed my philodox mate."
Anyways. You asked.. memory..."
to Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Nessa] "Is like.. books, inside peoples heads,. I can see titles, then if i try hard, I can see inside, and find information. Not everything, but many things. OR, can swap books. Or put in new book. Or remove books. Though, swapping and removing is for small memories. Not like.. long periods of time. Short events, da? More recent the better. Or, i can make someone do something quick, reflexive, simple action-- just one thing though. Or project emotions."

Any minute now, hands on the throat. Claws in the belly. Or maybe... Her eyes raise to his, and there is no begging.
Sadness. The trust was in moving close in the first place, in ever agreeing to anything Lukas had said. Ever. In asking him for tonight, to listen. His turn now.
She's so close, she could kiss his cheek with hardly any movement at all. Or, he could throat her, same thing.
to Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Nessa] Her eyes raise to his, and there is no begging.
Sadness. The trust was in moving close in the first place, in ever agreeing to anything Lukas had said. Ever. In asking him for tonight, to listen. His turn now.
She's so close, she could kiss his cheek with hardly any movement at all. Or, he could throat her, same thing.

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] "Enough -- I understand."

His hand comes to her shoulder. He pushes her back from him, gently by firmly, until she sits where she had. Then he reaches forward, picks up his mug, drinks his cooling coffee, thinks.

A long silence.

(gonna give mindy a chance to post!)

[Nessa] He doesnt need to push. Nessa is away at the first touch, sitting back, silent.
She is still, on the outside.
Inside, there's a silent war about a HELL of a lot of things.

[Armstrong] She had forgotten her wallet, and the conversation had become slightly more important than a series of paintings by mediocre college kids. The theurge had come back at some time, shut her mouth, and just kept to her side. What she was aware of, however, was much different than what it seemed.

Mrena glanced at Lukas, and then gave him her two cents on the matter across the totem link

[Armstrong] On one hand, this could be extremely beneficial to us, to the tribe, and to the sept. The amount of power that she has, however, is also a great risk. If she can alter memories, remove them at will, that is a potentially terrifying notion. And what if she decides she no longer desires to be of assistance? We could simply "forget" and be none the wiser.

On the other hand, on a personal level, the benefits and drawbacks come down to a question of trust. She can not deny who and what she is, this is in her nature. To deprive her of this integral part of herself is a travesty, but whatever she could do may be horribly detrimental to the garou.

It comes to a question of trust. If we can trust her and if we do trust her? And what to do should this trust be violated.
to Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Nessa] Mrena returns--
and the wild thing in Nessa surges upwards, makes her grip the couch hard to avoid leaping upwards and away. Survival instincts don't always... make a lot of sense.
Her forehead tenses, nearly as hard as her body has.
For all of Lukas' words about kin, its been her kin responsible for some of the worst things ever to occur in her life, and the scars will always be with her.
Trust is not easy. Patience is nearly painful.

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] There's a long pause before Lukas answers, his mindvoice slow and thoughtful.

You have it exactly when you say it comes down to trust. The truth is, if she had wanted to use her abilities for ill, she could have already done so. That she has not says something to me -- it says that she is not unlike us, perhaps. Flawed, and perhaps dangerous when backed into a corner, but not ... not evil.

I think she must be watched, nonetheless. My idea is to place the choice before her. Either she can submit to constant examinations under the Truth of Gaia to ascertain that she has done no ill, but receive protection from us if she should be accused of such -- or she can live freely, under a covenant of trust, but know that even the slightest blemish of suspicion would doom her.

What do you think?
to Armstrong

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] In the meantime, Lukas holds his hand up -- a gesture meant to halt, to reassure.

"It's all right. I have no secrets from my packmates, and they are no threat to you that I am not."

[Armstrong] It would mean more to her and us if we gave her that freedom. I believe, at her core, she has just intentions.

Despite those intentions, I do agree that she should be watched, regardless of how. I believe if we give her the right to live freely, we are giving her choice, discretion. When we do require her services, she may be more apt to help.

But if one should watch her, I believe it should be the spirits as well as us. In the case that something should go awry, they can follow when we can not. And by nature of what they are, I do not believe that she could do any harm to them and their mental faculties. It serves another purpose as well. We would be able to better protect our kin if we didn't personally have to keep eyes on them all the time.
to Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Nessa] "Actually..." Nessa takes a rapid sip of what could be beige sludge in her cup, anything to stop the hoarseness, "She is theurge. More threat than you."
Her blue eyes, not sapphire, not poetical inspirations, stare in a sort of horrid fascination at Mrena. "I know what theurges can do. When they are... inspired."
And that does it. She stands, unless stopped, muttering, "Switching drinks. Has to be vodka here soemplace. It's fucking bar."
With all the calm she can fake, the kin looks around for where a decent bottle of vodka would hide from many thirsty garou. Please.

[Armstrong] She watched Nessa jump, nodding a little and keeping her distance. She nodded some, and kept her posture as neutral as possible. Mrena was not a threat; Lukas said so himself.

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] A flicker of irritation -- "Don't insult my packmate with the insinuation that she will not act with honor and dignity simply because her auspice does not require it."

That wasn't quite Nessa's meaning. Still.

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] True. Spirit supervision as well as weekly questioning then -- if she chooses that path. But if she chooses to live freely, then she also chooses to live dangerously. And I'm not bluffing when I say: I will kill her if I hear so much as a whisper that she has used her powers to ill ends.

Are we agreed then? Shall I offer her the choice?
to Armstrong

[Armstrong] We are agreed, and I will hold you to it and remind you should it come to that.

He got the distinct impression that she said it, not because she believed he would not follow through on his word, but rather, because memories could not be as true as they were. It was a statement of support.
to Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Nessa] A cabinet opens and reveals... treasure. Yes. Nessa investigates quickly.
"Not my insinuation. You said she was not more dangerous, da? I tell you, Lukas, Shadowlord Theurge being creative, is more dangerous than ahroun. Ahh, see? Mrena knows what I mean. Mind, I LIKE Mrena, very much. But she knows. "
And ... Nessa knows. Someday, Lukas might, if he is very unwise, and unlucky.
"Ok, is here. Russian or Polish? Polish, I think. They are very good, even if they are not Russian. Do either of you want, too?"
If they do, then she brings three glasses, to pour in front of them, because there is no way they will likely trust her to do so out of their sight.

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] "And now you insult me as a buffoon. You're not doing very well, Nessa. Sit. And leave the vodka where it is."

Provided she does sit, the Ahroun observes her for a moment, his brow furrowed, his regard severe.

Then, quietly:

"Nessa, I think you have the capacity for enormous harm, and a part of me thinks I should put you under lock and key. But then, the same could be said for any one of my packmates, my septmates, my friends. We are all capable of devastation. I would not insult a Garou by trying to leash her. While you are Kin, something of the same applies there as well.

"Furthermore, my packmate points out that this is a matter of trust. And the truth is, I think if you had meant to use your powers for harm, you would never have told me at all. You would have used them by now.

"So in return for your trust, this is the choice we offer.

"First: you can voluntarily submit to surveillance. You will be questioned by our philodox, Katherine Bellamonte, every week to determine whether you had used your abilities against the Garou and their allies. You will have a constant escort of spirits to make sure you do not harm. If you are ever found guilty, you will die. But so long as you are not, I and my packmate will protect you against any and all false allegations -- from the Sept, the Tribe, or otherwise.

"It is a hard, servile path. But it will keep you safe.

"On the other hand: you can choose to retain your freedom and live your life as any other kin. You can even use your abilities for the good of the Nation. We will not monitor you, or question you, or otherwise interfere. But if we should sense, hear, or see so much as a shadow of a whisper of a rumor that you have used your skills to ill ends, we will be forced to kill you immediately. You will have no protection from me, or any other, against this.

"Those are my terms. I leave the choice to you."

[Nessa] She... leaves the vodka alone, and returns. Sits, slowly,
Duh.
But its with a particularly blank expression that she listens.
Lukas speaks, and offers choices. Its... its..
"May I ask, If i choose ahh door number one, I can still use my self for what I had planned? What I told you earlier? And what if ... i use them on someone who I did not know was garou, but found out through, that he was? That has happened before. Good thing too, because I was abotu to stab him thinking he was murderer. "

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] "In either case you're free to use your abilities to aid the Garou Nation. But if you were to accidentally turn your powers against a Garou -- to actually do harm against a Garou, even in accident -- then if you chose to place yourself under our surveillance and protection, we'll evaluate the transgression based on the facts. But if you chose freedom, I'll have to kill you."

There must be something inherently wrong about hearing this spoken so calmly, without rancor.

A moment later Lukas relents slightly; allows a grimace. "I wouldn't be able to take the chance, you see. Because I wouldn't know what really happened, and whether it was really an accident."

[Nessa] His last words, maybe, or something before that.
Nessa's hands relax.
Her spine straightens.
When she looks up again, its at the Theurge, though her words are to Lukas.
"I have learned too much about servility, since i was made.. this way. Since 15. And everything of freedom."
Deep breath, and the exhale takes more tension. "Freedom is about having choice, Lukas. I will never, ever be servile. Is not in my nature. Calm, sometimes passive. But not servile.
I choose you. And Mrena. And what goes with that. Freedom to have someone prove I am not bad, every week, and freedom to have... garou I can trust. And to be trusted, I hope. First door, is freedom."

Her chin raises, as she turns her face and eyes back towards Lukas, stares right at him.
"I am ready for your philodox."
Her chest is about to burst, explode into something with wings and strength.

Too bad about the vodka. Really.

[Armstrong] "You are choosing our defense," she said. "And you are choosing for us to be able to trust your intentions."

Door number one.

The position of eyes, where she was looking while she was speaking, the choices she made? They all said something about Nessa. They all said something of her intentions, her thoughts, her choices made and not-yet-made.

There was a small, affirmative nod, it was as though this decision pleased her.

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] Nessa speaks her decision -- Armstrong affirms it -- and Lukas nods.

"All right then. It'll be so."

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] (wanna close this scene there? *grin*)
to Armstrong, Nessa

[Nessa] (if you wanna close it! i am bloody awake htuogh.)
to Armstrong, Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Lukas Wyrmbreaker] (well, lukas will just go get a drink downstairs or something, then! i need a break *grin* you guys can go on w/o me.)
to Armstrong, Nessa

[Nessa] (K!)
to Armstrong, Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Armstrong] (I'm good to keep going! Take a break, mister man!)
to Lukas Wyrmbreaker, Nessa

[Nessa] Nessa tracks every movement, every expression Lukas makes, sitting rather still and in place--on the outside.

[Nessa] (go have break time! or sleep! or wahtever it is after you interrogate nessa, because you have DONE THIS BEFORE! *LOL*)
to Armstrong, Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Armstrong] She looked at her for awhile. Looked, yes, but was trying to see something else. In her mind, there was a difference between the two. Just as there was between hearing and listening, speaking and saying things. Her truth versus Katherine's.

"... how do you feel about all of this?"

It sounded like a sincere question; Mrena had a fascination with knowing. But, why did it matter?

[Nessa] Takes her a moment to sort things out, empath or no. Internal discoveries were always harder. "Shattered. Elated. Exhausted. Little bit star-struck. Oh, maybe lots. Does he have any idea...?" Finally her gaze pulls from The Other Shadowlord (or his path), and Nessa is mute at the theurge. One hand sort of.. waves, as if the thought will not come.
"How rare he is? Lukas doesn't know, does he?"
What does it say, that Nessa assumes that Mrena 'gets it' each time, automatically knows?

[Armstrong] "He is what we are, and can be, at our core," she said. "It would be a shame if his kind became rare."

She looked at Nessa for a moment, giving what she could about their tribe. That statement more powerful than the words seemed to imply; the Theurge looked at kinswoman, and she did not make an approach.

"You sound like you're pulled in so many different directions," she stated. "But I can understand the sentiment."

No, she couldn't. Mrena, at that moment (at many moments) was incapable, or unable, to understand what it was like to feel like other people. She could observe, and she could listen, but she did not know how to put herself in other people's shoes and walk the mile. Not yet, anyways.

[Nessa] She should try. Nessa just stole some awesome shoes.
And speaking of deception...

[Armstrong] "Why are you shattered, though?"

She said she understood, but she would press for more. And she would ask her questions if need be. Topic straying away from the star-struck Nessa and her packmate's path.

[Nessa] There... is no deception here.
Mrena's eyes sort of fascinate, the color at least. "Your eyes, are like art in my house. "
Second try, at the vodka. Nessa stands and glides towards the waiting bottles, and the glasses she knows are there. Hell, fuck the glasses. She needs 4 seconds. If that.
About being pulled in too many directions, she doesn't answer. Instead, she waits for the next question.
"I lost my family when I was 15. Then Shadowlords came and told me what I was, and took me away. Well, took me away first, then told me. Then they.... hurt me."
One glass, one shot. No, two. Yes. Polish.
"Then after years of training, they sent me here, to brother I did not knwo I had. And I.. healed a little.
Then he disappeared. Still missing.
Then I... well. Had first mate. Ragabash Shadowlord. Cliath. Mafia sort, da? Because he knew what I was, and wanted to control me. When he lost challenge for me, he left town next day.
Then... more Shadowlords came, and.. god, Mrena, it was back and forth for years. Threats, dire consequences, power plays, challenges, threats, control, over and over again. Until Baaku, I never learned to find good in our tribe. He changed me. Everything.
Then he died. And.. ahh. Well. You know what happened then. So.. I lost everyting again. Gained son, but we were very alone. And I had no tribe. Only Luc.
Now, I have Luc and tribe again, and is more than I thought. Everything is turned around again, but good, and... is SO MUCH. If you dont mean for me to have this vodka, you had better be faster than me."
Gulp. Or gulp, if Mrena doesnt stop her.

[Armstrong] Eye color was something distinctly more complicated than others gave it credit for. There was no hint of blue, no greens, no browns in site. Simply put, her eyes were grey. They were silver. They were damned near white at times. Her eyes were neither like steel nor slate. She had been told many things about them, asked many questions she didn't have answers for. They were not that unusual, simply... captivating. "How so?"

There was a second attempt at gaining alcohol.

And when she spoke of threats and dire consequences and what-have-you, Mrena could almost understand Nessa's decision. Putting two and two together. That trust was something so important to her, so vital... and so many things could ride on it.

a pause.

"... you've been alone for some time," she said. But spoke nothing of loneliness. Damned if she didn't imply it. Mrena was curious, yes, but for a different reason. She desperately wanted to understand how she felt, and it spoke of an investment in Nessa that Mrena may or may not have been aware of.

"Even when there are others around, it must be hard."

[Nessa] "Alone..." The cap goes on the bottle. Just one drink. No, apparently, just one of the Polish. Nessa pours out a small splash of the Russian vodka, tastes, then raises the better choice to Mrena, with one eyebrow raised.
Whatever her choice, Nessa ends up back at the couch again-- but standing up this time, sipping slowly after offering Mrena a drink too.
"I am first, empathic. That was first to develop. To feel someone else's feelings, as if they had touched. Is sooooo.... intense. Alone is not I think for any of our people. Not for garou. Not for kin. "
And hella not for me.

No ice. Nessa swirls the clear liquid in the glass, lets the fumes clear her brain. "Is strange, how often I see garou and kin alone, though. Does not have to be that way. Is some of why I spoke to Lukas today. Is not good, to be alone. And very, very inefficient."

[Armstrong] "We're pack animals," she said.

And left it at that.

"As for feeling someone else's feelings..." a pause, then almost something close to quiet wonder. A desire to know, a desire to understand. If nothing more, it made up for the lack of empathy. "What is that like? To actually feel what someone else feels? You said intense, is it good? Is it bad? Is it just like feeling on your own or is it like having two very distinct sets of emotions at once?"

She took the glass poured for her, not drinking just yet. "Being alone, genuinely alone, is an overwhelming thought. You said this isn't how it has to be... what do you propose should be done about it?"

[Nessa] Nessa closes her eyes, one finger caressing the top of the glass, around and around. "Is like... feeling, and then feeling again. Two sets, but they are not totally separate. Your arms, and another holds you. Well, if is good feeling. Bad feelings, is not... nice, da? I can show you, if you want, sometime. With your permission, and who-ever has to be saying yes. Not tonight, though. "
Her eyes are still closed, and if the glass was crystal, maybe she would set it to singing, with what she is doing. Surely there is moisture on her fingertip. "Bring kin together. Train them. Focus them. DO something, instead of sitting here playing house and pretending everything is normal when is sure as hell not. Stop leaving war to others, pretending we are all going to be fine, because we are not all going to be fine. Is silly and lazy and cowardly to think so.
I asked Lukas about forming ahh a network of kinfolk here to gather information, political power, that sort of thing. Maybe target gangs instead, depends on what he decides, with ahh all sept approval and things. Power, at least, but focused trhough information and careful use of information."

[Nessa] I just got this image of the three of them on all fours, with saddle bags and lots of things tied to their backs. Pack animals.
to Armstrong, Lukas Wyrmbreaker

[Armstrong] There was a pause, as if this was a great leap of faith for her. As if she had considered this, and finally gave her reply. "I think I might like that."

It would be a learning experience, if nothing more. There was a nod, and then a drink of her vodka. The lack of response, the thought, the care put into it all. She agreed without saying, or maybe her posture agreed and spoke for her.

"I think a lot of kin don't realize they're a part of the war too," she said. Again, another bold statement of the evening. Agreement? Possibly.

[Nessa] "Exactly! And.. have to know. Have to be allowed to know. Have to.. care enough. That part is.. faith, da? Is tricky, because-- I don't know what is like in other septs, but here, is nothing for us, to make... a faith unless we find it ourselves. No holidays. No... gatherings. Every month. you have moots, and ritual, and.. things, da? You DO things. Together. We do not. Maybe we slip away more because of it. I don't know.

I learned from.. seeing great evil, and touching it and then seeing great good, comparison. And I looked. But someone who cannot do this, how do they learn?
John Thornton. How wil he learn to love Gaia, and have faith, and udnerstand what he is and what we are? How will he be taught now? Is like that. We need that."

She's rambling now, stares at her glass in confusion. There was a point in all this. someplace.

[Armstrong] "He will learn because he will be taught. Through experience, through sacrifice, through the words and deeds of others and himself. You don't... it's different for you all, and I can not, in good conscience, pretend to know what it's like to be kin. Any solution I could offer that would be practical may not be, for sheer fact that we're different."

She nodded some, then started to get herself in order. All dressed up, nowhere to go.

a change in topic.

"You said I was like the art in your house... why is that?"

[Nessa] She listens, and.. is dissatisfied, but then, she's just had three hefty belts of vodka.
"Unexpected. Glass bracelet. Art glass bracelet. Many pieces. That would be very striking on you."

"-specially if you struck someone with it. " A sudden laugh escapes her, more sudden since she doesn't do it often. A wild sound, and it startles her. More tension to release, apparently.

[Armstrong] She grinned a little and then shook her head some. "Well, that would certainly make it a piece with form and function."

a beat, and then she looked torwards her room.

"I should get out of this dress," she said. "Before I get it any dirtier."

[Nessa] She nods, grins, and stands. "I have done what I meant to do tonight-- ahh actually WAY TOO MUCH MORE. BUt.. strangely, I still live, and is good now. Time to go drink plenty coffee, then pick up Luc."

For all that has happened, not much time has passed...
Nessa's looking at Mrena-- rather like she was looking at Lukas earlier. There are stars, and they are aimed at the theurge.

[Nessa] (FAAAADED Out already, Nessa's doing the same! NIght, and thanks for 1. scene and 2. TWINKY NESSAAA!)

[Armstrong] (aaaand we fade, because I'm fading, and fading fast)